The Impossible Test

This is one examination you will never, ever pass.

The Impossible Test

Tagged: entertainment, Darth Nirius, education, literature, tests

Posted in Articles By Darth Nirius

Feb 6th 2010, 02:37

The Impossible test


Instructions

  • lol
  • Kya aap paanchvi pass se tez hain?
  • You have 15 minutes
  • Jai Mata Di Let's Rock

Mathematics

 

  1. What is 1+1? (Do not fall into the obvious trap of writing '2', you have to find 1+1 for extremely large values of 1).

  2. If my wife is five years older than I would have been when I got married to her, and five years younger than my mother's current age, explain why I do not have a wife.

  3. Using only a ruler and compasses, become the Prime Minister of India.

  4. Use the Before-After slimming advertisements put out by VLCC to prove that all numbers (weights) are equal to zero. Next, use the VLCC price catalogue to prove that all numbers are equal to infinity.

Geography

 

  1. Go to Hell.

  2. Go around the world in 80 days. You can use as much money as you want, but you are not allowed to apply for a visa anywhere. Also, you have to be back by the time the exam ends (in fifteen minutes).

History

 

  1. Paste your Internet History here (without deleting anything :P).

  2. Conduct a general election in the next five minutes, and beat the Congress and BJP combined. You will get extra marks if you help the Left to get any votes.

  3. Explain, in not less than three million words, what would have happened if the British had not taken over India. Be concise.

Science

 

  1. Discover three new Newtonian Laws to explain any one Mithun Chakraborty or Rajnikanth movie. If three is too few, you can use up to three million.

  2. Discover three new species before the end of this exam. If you want, a ship is available to take you to the New World.

  3. Create a product, using only a test-tube and water, that will actually do what Fair and Lovely claims to do.

  4. Find a cure for AIDS. too easy common cold.

TV and Bollywood

 

  1. Sign up for Rakhi ka Swayamvar.

  2. Watch five hours of Star Plus from 6 PM - 11 PM, without the use of oxygen or other life support. You will be strapped to your chair.

  3. In five minutes, dress up so that Govinda looks more decent than you.

  4. You are to go and sleep on a pavement. When you are ready, Salman Khan will come driving down the road. Continue sleeping. For bonus points, come back to the exam after he's killed you.

English

 

  1. Will you do frandship with me?

The Toughest of All

 

  1. Answer this question.

  2. Run around the streets shouting 'I love Lol-land'.

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