What you really Learn in School

Not science, english or math, but real world knowledge.

What you really Learn in School

Tagged: DaveDevil, education, science, india

Posted in Articles By DaveDevil

Feb 6th 2010, 02:35

We uncovered some amazing facts beneath the obvious facade of teaching languages, science and social sciences. This is what Indian kids really learn in school.

1. You will never like your lunch food because your mom does not make food for you, she makes it for your classmates. Don't worry, there is someone in your class whose mom makes lunch for you. Find him/her.

2. Lunch break is not meant for eating lunch, it's for playing cricket. Four classes before that is lunchtime.

3. The art of filling a fountain pen. Utterly useless and needlessly complicated, like many arts.

4. Parker Pen > Hero Pen > Pilot Pen > Any other pen.

5. The Date. (cos you have to write it 6 times a day in school)

6. The National Anthem. (have you ever sung it after leaving school, not counting Aug 15. Hell, even counting Aug 15?)

7. The most amusing joke in the world is Life Processes - II in biology textbooks. Yes, that one.

8. The Principal is more evil than Satan, Hitler and Ekta Kapoor combined.

9. Every teacher must be christened with a new name by every new class he/she teaches.

10. All differences can be settled by a one on one cricket match.

11. The school bus has locked seating arrangement going front to back with increasing seniority of class. To be allowed sit further behind than your age is the highest honour in the Universe.

12. If you are female, you shall learn about many Weapons of Male Destruction for the first time in school, like Valentine's Day and Crush Lists.

13. Well, you will also gain some Weapons of Male Distraction. Use them wisely..

14. If you are male, you shall realize the existence of females.

15. FLAME is the most reliable way of finding future spouse/spice.

16. Love == walking around the playground during lunch break.

17. The ideal distance between two people is One Arm.

18. Board Exams == Mount Doom.

19. It is perfectly fine to relentlessly tease and bully people who are weaker than you. By the time they become serial killers, you won't be in the picture. Hopefully.

20. Hand/book cricket with an aluminium foil ball is a very challenging and interesting game.

21. Not wearing a belt or wearing wrong socks is the ultimate expression of rebellion.

22. If a teacher writes Good or draws stars in your book in red ink, you are God.

23. When the whole class is punished together, giggling uncontrollably for no reason is a good idea.

24. All batches, senior and junior, have hotter girls than your ugly batch. This is true for every batch. Hence when asked, there is never any girl in your class you like.

25. Writing your name over and over again in different font styles in the last page is very productive.

26. Awesome rules, like:

I before e - except after c,

BB Roy of Great Britain has a Very Good Wife,

The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog,

My Very Educated Mother Just Showed Us Nine Planets... and many such more. And who can forget... HuhHeeLiBeeBuCkNOFunNee NaMugAlSiPaSClAr KucCaSureshChandraTiwariViceChairMnFeeCoNiCuZenGaGeyAsSeeBarKrar (If your school did not teach this, your education is incomplete, use Google and get your 12th pass certificate.)

27. Finally, you also learn that you wasted 12 years of your life studying to finish school when you could have just trusted the sticker on your school bus that said...

"8th.9th.10th.Failed can do direct B.A./ B.Com./B.Sc. - 4th.Failed can do direct 10th...."

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