Hall of Fame - The Expendables

The greatest shoot-kill-blow-everything-up movie-to-be.

Hall of Fame - The Expendables

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Posted in Articles By Darth Nirius

Jan 31st 2010, 12:12

Imagine an street fighter, sitting on a couch for a week in the same clothes since his brutal UFC championship victory, with a lifetime supply of roast chicken and beer, and nothing to do but switch between the NFL, amateur porn and a gory FPS on the playstation. Now take the total amount of testosterone in that image, multiply it by 10^200 and then divide it by zero (call chuck norris if you need help with that).

That is approximately how much manliness oozes out of the new upcoming movie "The Expendables".

 

Before you destroy your computer in frustration of having been lured into reading 110 (now 113) words of a wildly exxagerated, fantastical lunatic ranting, just allow for one simple justification of the above-said analogy.

The Expendables, scheduled to release in 2010, stars Rambo (Sylvester Stallone), the Terminator (Arnold Schwaznegger), the Transporter (Jason Statham), the Monkey King (Jet Li), the Wrestler (Mickey Rourke) and He-Man (Dolph Lundgren), all in the same movie.

 

this is Sly Stallone at age 62

Supporting this mind blowing cast are 'Smooth Criminal Salvatore Moroni' Eric Roberts, former NFL player Terry Crew, ex-convict and San Quentin prison lightweight and welterweight boxing champion Danny Trejo, 4 time UFC Heavyweight champion Randy Couture, former karate and kick boxing champion Gary Daniels and the greatest WWE wrestler of all time, Stone Cold Steve Austin.

 

And if that was not enough to have your adrenaline exploding, look at who others have been approached for a role in the movie. 'Universal Soldier' Jean Claude Van Damme, 'Renegade Vampire Blade' Wesley Snipes, 'Mahatma Gandhi' Ben Kingsley, 'Idi Amin' Forest Whitaker, 'Escape from L.A.' Kurt Russell and Tae kwon do trainer 'Weapon XI' Scott Adkins.

And if the rumours are to be believed, 'Die Hard' Bruce Willis is in talks with Stallone over a possible role in the movie.

 

Dont destroy your computer in frustration. This is not a spoof. The goosebumps you had reading the cast list are for real. This is not a spoof. See the proof for yourself here The movie is in production and shooting has already commenced in locations in Brazil and US. We will have to wait till mid 2010 however for this never-before never-again epic movie. Which is good because we suggest you finish all the manly ambitions you have ever had in your life so far before the movie releases, and then prepare to be emasculated in the 2 most epic hours of your life.

A toast to testosterone.

Cheers !!

PS - In the interest of the general public, we are creating a checklist of all the 'masculine' ambitions you should have accomplished before the release of the Expendables. So watch out for that!!

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