Hall of Fame - Soulja Boy

The official music of the Republic of Lolland.

Hall of Fame - Soulja Boy

Tagged: celebrity, music, Darth Nirius

Posted in Articles By Darth Nirius

Jan 30th 2010, 19:49

Soulja Boy. Two words.

 

Soulja Boy, for the uniniated, is a rapper. He's not a normal rapper, though, no - he is a shining jewel, whose chiselled body and visionary lyrics have changed the world. His dedication to and love for music are greater than that even of Mozart - he started at age 6. Our respect for him is so great that we have refrained from commenting on any of his lyrics in our quotes section, we have just left them there for others to read and worship.

 

First, the appearance.

Soulja Boy is not intimidating like other rappers. His 6-inch biceps and 25-inch chest ensure that he always projects a friendly and non-threatening face to all his followers.

 

 

Soulja Boy's lyrics and themes reach out to everyone - even the depressed.

Who has not felt a pang of fellow-feeling on hearing the immortal lyrics from 'Just Got my report card' (Throw some D's on that *****).

Which love struck and technologically challenged guy has not wished that phones could transmit kisses ('Kiss me through the phone, I see you lata on').

Which student who has failed history ten times cannot relate to Soulja Boy's similar lack of knowledge about history? Soulja writes a song 'Marco Polo' going like this: New g-shock(check) Yellow Lamborgini(bow) Bc shirt with a fresh pair of jeans (wow) Black card spending when I hit the mall (stunting))

 

However, one thing that we initially didn't like about this man is his obsession with Superman. We have, as you probably know, banned Superman. But, after a little urban linguistic research, we found out what he really means by the usage of the word, and realized he has no affiliations with Superman.

 

Nirvana - The Salvation of Your Soulja

Soulja boy has shown millions of his followers the right way of life and, thanks to internet, youtube and this post, more join the movement everyday. You can order Soulja Boy's 5 steps to Nirvana CD on eBay for just $49.95. Alternately, you could just read the rest of this post. Soulja has prescribed a 4 step programme for all of mankind to follow to attain their salvation -

Step 1 - Self Realization

I'm a throw out every dollar, Soulja Boy's not a scholar... Man I'm a trapaholic rapaholic hustler... - I'ma Bout Tha Stax Im Da #1 Stunna Haterz wanna be me Soulja Boy, I'm the man They be lookin' at my neck Sayin' it's the Rubberband Man I Got A 47 Up In Math, A 67 In English, A 14 In Science. Man What The **** Is This Throw Some D's On That *****

Step 2 - Self Appreciation

Im Ya Gurl Best Friend am the kidz favorite rapper

Step 3 - Ambition

I'm 'bout the swag, I'm 'bout the ice, I'm 'bout to cop me one tonight

  Step 4 - Achievement and Pride

I seen you wishin he'd a quit it you can't get like me A lot of rappers mad cause they can't make no hits like me

 

Such a man cannot have many enemies - but there are a few. They have banned his music from school dance parties on the grounds that it is misogynistic and promotes violence of all kinds. However we stand by him. 99% of his lyrics aren't understandable anyway. After all, can you understand any two consecutive words of the following rhyme:

White Rims can they both get a long. now this ain't

The Matrix but I am the orical

"Do You Wonna Get With Me? " The Question is rhetorical.

Say the same lines but the fans

Don't get board of me $75000, if you want to order me.

If you can, you are either Soulja Boy himself, or have completed his 4 step Nirvana programme. People who love and respect this man need not wait long to get more of him. Our Education Department, which is in the process of being formed, has been spearheaded by this paragon of excellence.

Comments

Get our latest posts in your mail box!

Email Subscription »

Associates

Lolland on Facebook