Startup Idea - 2

Failed the CAT and JEE? Don't worry, we have the solution.

Startup Idea - 2

Tagged: business, DaveDevil, india, Life

Posted in Articles By Darth Nirius

Jul 7th 2010, 02:29

Do you want to get rich? Do you want to stand out from all the million other startup wannabes? Here is the second way : The Queue Sacrificer

How to do it
You somehow manage to get in near the front of long queues (railway stations, college admissions, etc). Then tell the guy behind you he can get in front of you by giving you just Re 1. Repeat that with the next two thousand people in line. If the queue is long enough and the day is hot enough, increase the fee.

Initial investment
None. If you go to sleep by mistake and actually reach the ticket counter, you might find yourself having to buy a ticket. Even in this worst case, do not despair. See our variations below. However a true professional would not hesitate to camp overnight to secure the pole position, so a sleeping bag might make good business sense.

No upper limit. You can potentially get money from every person in India. Multiple times. Why aren't we doing this ourselves?

Growth prospects
Once you have perfected your first-in-line skills, teach friends and family and employ agents in other cities to do this for you. If you could just get one agent in every college admission and railway station line in the country, you will never have to work again.

After some time, you could open a training institute for queue sacrificers. And then there would be an entrance exam, and coaching institutes for that entrance exam. And one day you'll be like Bill Gates, and someone will start an open-source queue sacrificial institute with a few dedicated fans which never becomes popular.

Possible variations
If you actually buy a ticket/get a form by mistake, go to the 100th person in line, and perform a slow and seductive dance, dangling the ticket/form in front of his/her eyes. After five minutes of this dance (or less, depending on how young/hot you are), start an auction. Black market selling just got to a whole new level.

When you become really good, hire an accomplice - a tired old lady with a heavy bag with a mobile hospital drip line in tow. After you have pulled off your little scheme once and fallen out of the line, the lady enters. She then goes to the first guy in line and says she needs that ticket/form and she can't stand in line for more than 10 minutes or she'll die. He then, overcome by pity, offers her his place in the line. She stands in line, after having called down the blessings of a few assorted deities on his head. After 5 minutes of looking anxiously at her watch and coughing blood, she recognizes a kind gentleman she knows (that's you). You admonish her for being out here with brain, blood and lung cancer, give her money to take a taxi home and take her spot in the line. No one will stop you and there you are, first in line again with 5 minutes effort. If you feel particularly cocky maybe you can pretend to be poor and convince the guy behind you to fund her taxi trip.

A nice supplement to your daily work could be side duty as the Hand of God. Whenever a poor sucker tries to queuejump ahead of you, you jump on him and rip his throat out with your bare teeth. People will start raining money on you without your even asking. You can probably take the rest of the day off. 

Things that could go wrong
A queue sacrificer who does it out of the good of his heart. Such people should be destroyed at all costs. Just accuse them of cutting in line and rip their evil hearts out.
A frustrated person in the queue might beat you to death if you ask him for money. Hopefully before this happens, your wife and kids will be provided for...



Get our latest posts in your mail box!

Email Subscription »


Lolland on Facebook